It sounds like you both need space to work on yourself and what your values and standards are and for her, her learning how to love herself and not look outside of the relationship. So, my Girlfriend of 3 years and a month, this Sunday that passed blindsided me and broke up with me/take a break ..Im not sure. She told me she just needed friends now and she didnt want anything more than that although the day before she mentioned we were still going to have sex. When a woman says she needs space in a relationship (or a man, for that matter), it is up to both partners to decide how much space and time they need before So I simply said ok and that I love you too. We knew our relationship needed work and she took on a job out of state and I finally agreed I would move down there because I didnt want to lose her. At the age of 20 there is a lot of insecurities and I believe if you just let her know she will understand. But that doesnt mean were ready to start another relationship any time soon. The best thing you can do for you and the relationship takes a step back. During the next couple weeks I was working on better myself and overall attitude. This article tells me what I want to actually do, that often times I dont have the strength to do because I fear growing apart. Hello Eric! do you think she will ever reach out for me again ? I brought up the topic of being exclusive and this drove her to request that space. I have a question me and my wife been together for 15 years Married for 6 years I caught her having a emotional affair with a ex that is locked up for 40 years and I put her out after I put her out there was no contact for a few days because she was calling me and I was ignoring her so she came knocking on our door I let her in and we was talking and she said she was trying to fix the relationship we going on our third week now she havent came back home but she calls 6 to 7 times every day and we have a 16 month daughter she said she was doing what she was doing because she felt I was treating her bed and she said she wanted me to feel her pain and I dont understand where she coming from with this I know we had a problem because when my daughter was born I am a truck driver and I went to go sleep in the other room and we agreed today and I will come in on the weekends but I continue to stay in the other room and I Houma another bargain and she got mad with me NFL does do I was lying to her and I didnt want to come in a room with her and this one on a half until Ive caught her on the phone talking to the guy from jail so now she act like she not in no Harry to cone back home talking about she dont feel comfortable But since this happened she have been over to stay the night three times has sex with her once so how you dont feel comfortable if you to been over and slept with me in the bed with nothing in that time and now I am to the point where I am tired of playing this game I told her the other day either she come back home and we go to marriage counseling and try to fix this or were not because when I told it is its like she never responded she danced around what I was saying and then we supposed to go out this week so I dont understand what she doing at this point and right now I just feel like i am ready to cut off all contact and deal with her mother far as my daughter just dont understand her angle right now if you dont want to be married why keep calling 5 to 7 times a day checking up on me and get mad if I dont answer when she call, Hey Devonta. We would see each At my house only. We had attempted intimacy 3x but she has anxiety/depression and I have ED from diabetes. I was dating a girl for about 5 months where we literally talked every single day, even though 5 months can be a short amount of time we did a lot of things together and amazing trips. Start with one https://youtu.be/sSeHRS0iLxo and explore through them. It seemed to just come out of the blue. Determine what is healthy and what is not healthy. I asked her how long and she stated a week. We have a 10 day trip together (just the two of us) planned for August. We decided that I would meet her family, and once that happens things would move fast towards marriage. Weve never been official, but we act like a couple and hangout, go on some dates, and sorry if this is too much info, we have amazing sex. i dono what i did wrong to her for this response mam/sir! https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ My gf suddenly broke up with me telling she wants to be alone, she wants to go back to herself and dont want commitment. Kdog626 She also brought up religion again and said how she doesnt want me to all of a sudden become a Christian and for me to be Christian just to be with her. She moved out this past wknd, but really hadnt been at our home for a month due to work travel and staying with her family. Can you help? Its a big step for her to move to another country and she is trying to figure things out at this moment. She needs more convincing. Look up interdependent relationship. She said she feels like shes stuck in a high school relationship because Im in law school and I live with my parents (we are 25 and 26) where she is in her career, and that me being in school is taking away her opportunity to to the youthful things she had expected to be doing (I have 2 years left). Thanks for reading my blog about when she says she needs space. A bit of the back story is that we were pretty good for a couple of years, my parents are divorcing ever since November and my sister has been going through a bad time ever since Christmas. I subscribed to your channel on YouTube months and have seen lots of your videos. and tried to change her mind, but still not effective. I have a 5 year friends with benefits long distance relationship with a divorced mother of two children. We have been talking about marriage for a long time and this seems like a far cry from that, Hi Brandon, There also seems as though there is more to this story and I would need more details in order to give you advice. Thank you for reading this blog. Im really depressed and paranoid at the same time. Eventually I reached out as she is all I want but when we talked about me dating I could see she hated the thought, so I told her I didnt sleep with anyone (although I did sleep with one lady). We got in a little fight which looked like she was putting her frustrations on me and she dropped me off at my car than I txted her as I was driving back home and said can we talk about this and she replied immediately and turned around to talk to me. We are talking again and spending some time but its not the same. Relationships are hard and thats why we are here to help. I was in a relationship for 7 yes and we had 2 kids together. Right now I think its best to really focus on the things you enjoy. my family requested for all of the engagement gifts along with the ring I gave her, to be returned. Gave me some ideas to try. What do I do? I know that i should also use this time to focus on my development. Thanks in advance. If shes not texting and says that she doesnt want to talk anymore, then I would leave her alone. Some days she tells me she misses my voice or she feels weird we havent talked all day over the phone (we everyday, sometimes more than others). She invited me back to her place (albeit to look at an issue with the house and her housemate was in) and weve agreed to do more drinks. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/how-to-get-my-husband-to-notice-me-4-important-tips/ Thank you for sharing your story, She was very affictionate and caring. It seems as though she has a lot going on and needs to find herself. Now its not really anything to do with our relationship but rather her personal life, she has quite a bit going on and is clearly quite stressed. 1) She needs a lot of space and time to herself Daisy has a lot of fun when we meet up, but she also needs a lot of time to herself. This is a powerful part of your relationship. So my 2 cents, live life in happiness and abundance with our without her (famous U2 song), and keep moving forward. This causes me great anxiety and when my ex had booked a romantic night away so we could have some quality time, my business partner then starting messaging questioning work issues and making accusations that she wasnt informed of things. Shes been rather cold and distant with me recently and its hard because weve never been like that before. Since we have been texting each day but not quite as much as before her needed break. A good female friend of mine has asked me to give her space so she an clear her head and have some me time. Can u help me with that? If not now, then in the future. Now I do admit I was smothering clingy and needy which probably caused this problem. Ive even booked a flight to los angeles for some time alone. Then she asked if I wanted to have dinner later. Make yourself busy during this time. That is the first thing. It has been a week since she left and we havent talked. I dont want to tell you to back away or to try to initiate cause I dont know exactly what happened in the relationship and I can give you the wrong advice. Best, Has been going through menopause for a year now, and I was worried a midlife crisis may come on and this happens. Book a coaching session here. Apollonia. Hey Adam. Hey there ive been really interested in a girl at my university and i found out recently she was interested in me, so we decided to go out with each other we spend time together in uni and i spent time with her at her place and had a great night. Heres the link to where you can do that. Apollonia. Best of luck! Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us. Also we had a little argument last Friday but I think she realized she overreacted because she texted me the day after with our normal daily texting. Jesus, this was spot on. Best, Hey Apollonia! Thank you. Best, I would really back up. I am not even on social media and viewing her stories or anything..I actually took time away from social media and keeping myself preoccupied..Any suggestions? As I said before I am not trying to be rude to you or mean but I am being honest. Hello Jack, She also said she needs more time to heal from the damage of our relationship. (When we first broke up she said she needed time, but didnt know how much, and said she would do her best to keep it short). But also, you will be forming a foundation where this woman will not want to do this again as you were honoring space for her. She responded saying thanks and asking what Im checking in on, in turn I blew it off answering the next day saying nothing in particular, just letting you know I agree with you and encourage thanking a step back. I said ok and that was that Hi Alex, I agreed with her that we have been spending a bit too much time together too soon and agreed we should back off on how much time we spend together. I know how difficult this can be to deal with but I highly suggest you book a coaching call with me since my time is very limited and we can dive further into this. Apollonia. I dont want to tell her that my marriage is on the rocks already even before i met her. To me it felt like we could fix these things and work on them however i just wish it wouldnt have happen that way. She hasnt blocked me but this hit me hard especially as I help this older lady save her home and build her business. I been providing alot for her and she helps with transportation. I think we both started feeling love for each other after a few months. This is a 4-day transformational retreat. I do not get included in things anymore. Hey I have a question, I have this girl that weve been dating for a year now. She also said that she realized she isnt ready for the commitment and that after her break up 3 months prior to us dating, she wanted time to herself/me time. Do I have hope for her to come back because its pretty much been 1 whole month and I hear 6 months is already a break up and I keep reading that 1 month is already considered a break up. I have a program called She Needs Space it gives you insights on what to do and how to act when a woman says she needs space. You deserve to have open communication and respect. she did come visit me and we spent time together and it was awkward but still enjoyed each others company. I am 29 years old, a nursing student. She have always been in doubt in this relationship, doubt about is she contended, is she happy with me, is this what she really want. I know I need to calm down, but my only concern is I am unsure how to handle the future, let her call/text first (things she doesnt really do) or in a few weeks time send her a casual message about something that reminded me of her and play it off as a chance to be curious about her and how she is doing? If you are interested in a private coaching session tailored to your needs, here is my link: https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/ I suggest you book one with me so we can get things going. Although her ex was overly caring and loving her, he was constantly pestering her and pressuring her into things which she really couldnt take it anymore. Since then i am not feeling good, i cried several times as everything reminds me of her. She has told me that I have been jealous (though I dont see how), clingy and becoming dependent on her. best, Until then, Im gonna be happy, productive and enjoy this life. We started off slowly and it intensified over the past few weeks. Im stuck in this hotel cause I have no where to go or do. Gaslighting In A Relationship: The 5 Signs Of Gaslighting & How To Stop It! https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/, Apollonia carefully crafted her products that address a multitude of subjects which you may find helpful as well: https://www.apolloniaponti.com/products/. But I really dont know what to do right now, give her space? keep up the great work. So i hope that she realizes that and is willing to come to the table one last time to see if we can still fix this. I know how heartbreaking this must be. She also mentioned She also said that. She then suggested we meet again this coming Friday for a few more drinks at a bar that when we were really close we had said we should try out together. Thank you for reaching out and supporting us! We are in LDR relationship.before two days ago suddenly she said that she needs time I had not asked any questions and said ok you can take your time but she said that she willle call me once in a day for 5 minutes and treated like as a friend for some days. I would like to relocate to a new place with her, where we both could have a more balanced life. I will text her and see if she is willing to at least give me a good closure and know their is no chance of getting back together. Please help me. We see each other almost everyday after work, grab some food and talk for hours and sometimes have a wonderful sex. I came back home but her thoughts are not stopping. We ended up being in the same country for holidays and she refused to see me, we only met at a cafe by accident and I spoke to her. This was something that happened and probably shocked the both of you and as time goes on she will connect with you again. It can be a great thing, but there is a thing as being too much. If you need to talk anything out, Im here. I love her but I feel like she might not love me anymore eventhough she says she does. Some people lose their individuality when in a relationship, and once they realize this, they feel like they need some space for themselves. We both have expressed how much we have grown on each other and really care and like one another. I became a weak man in front of her. Give her the space and fill your time with finding your hobbies, the things you enjoy. Yet, we live together love each other and shes bonded with my 14 yr old daughter. Apollonia. I miss her Please reach out to me if you want more guidance I am here to help! Best, This is tough though. After that things got really bad and bad, our communication is bad. 1. She calls me just about everyday & we talk. Also, start to do things that will keep you busy during this time. If you keep caving because you feel lonely nothing changes if nothing changes. Fast forward a couple months and I asked her after now 4 months of the engagement being broken, if she would want to make things work. Just support her but also dont live in your fear of not seeing her again because that is just a fear and not a reality. I was getting so frustrated that I couldnt get straight answers. I know how difficult this can be to deal with on your end. My ex is an intelligent woman (lawyer) and knew about my past mistakes, she has requested space but spoken to my mother stating she really cares about me but her head is all over the place. Just last week she seemed different and asked she needs time and space to think. She has been too stressed out with work and studying at the same especially since she works remotely from shanghai and studies in japan so we have been in LDR and she barely messages me which keeps me worried most of the time. Im so sorry to hear what you are going through. Well today I texted her and she replied to me,..No need for texting cause wont change anything and like she said we are done and we should guive each other a chance to heal because the relationship is over and no hopes of it coming again. She said she cant remember them because they are being forcefully applied on her. Ive had a tough time understanding her thought process. We want to share with you the truth about what we think turns women off so, you dont make the same mistake with your partner. Both of our divorces were finalized few months ago at the same time and the reason it took so long was because of COVID. I find parts that resonate but I get caught in a rabbit hole and confused on whether certain things apply. Hey Apollonia, It happened during tis month.. Analyze the relationship and see where your own shortcomings were. If she does not you wont be around for it. You can book a coaching call using this link, Hi Apollonia, You have things you have to walk through. I owe her alot. We might see each other a couple times a week because of our busy schedules. I would like some good advice it would mean the world to me at this point. She wants to here me out about what I have to say about things from the past, present and future. My girlfriend told me that she needs some personal space. Them when they get something they think they may want, they dont want it. I know she loves me but she just not sure if shes in love with me. Thank you very much for your support and kind words. She will see it when you showcase change. One, analyze where you can show up better, be positive and stay focused on yourself. She also brought up religion because shes a huge devout Baptist and Im a Muslim, but not as devout or religious. She then tells me that she doesnt think theres any hope for us and says it has nothing to do with the other guy. We recently went to Miami back in May for my 22nd birthday, California in August and Adirondacks in October. Should I be doing anything for myself towards my relationship with her? We would talk every two or three days and Id text her and see how shes doing and what not and shed tell me that shed have some good days, but also lots of bad days. I dont want to be there nor am I sticking around while she tries out a few partners. Think about how you will get your point across and still be present to her needs while staying true to the man you are. The way you come up on top is to focus on you only. We did! So many people yearn for something outside of themselves, but you have all the answers within. If this woman cares for you she will naturally come back. Play some sports, or hang out with friends, involve yourself in something so she sees that you are not waiting on her watch. What do i do i have to make this work for the kids and i love her so much i just dont know what to do being clingy and super emotional has had the opposite effect, Yesterday i said happy Easter at 8 am and 9pm she said she was busy chasing kids all day then didnt respond to my next message today i havent messaged and neither has she what do i do. Hope this helps! I suggested doing so to see if things changed and fix it and also suggested to give us no contact space and reconnect in a month or two to let us work on ourselves because I did not want it to end and wanted to work things out. Hello. Do I message her? This had upset me that she was still friends and I told her she was basically keeping her options open. Id assume women usually just have a week or two in mind most of the time. Thats why its so important to keep busy. She is a person who can cut you off just like that. You guys went really fast. I told her all these things mentioned were all things that she had told me she was ok with given the fact it was all really her ideas and thoughts I told her that I was not happy with all this and confronted her a little before I decided to leave her place even though she said to me that she still loves me and that she doesnt know what to do and feels like she regrets saying these things to me and said maybe she just needs time because these were on her mind for a while even though we only recently booked our tickets to go on vacation last week. Prior to this everything seemed fine until a week ago she went distant. I know it says husband but just take the husband and replace it with wife this could give you guidance as well. She asked for space which I had abused through my constant text messages a few days prior to this. She admits that the chemistry between us is amazing when we are together. is this what she really want she asking. She mentioned it because her ex is a co worker of hers that she always sees and she regrets ever doing it; her cousins and I are close so its also why she mentioned it. I asked her why and what did I do to make things so weird and she said she has a lot on her plate and shell just see me in social situations and she didnt want to get into specifics Like today, I had an interview that she knew about, and didnt say anything before hand and still hasnt asked how it went. What should i do? I love her and I cant stand losing her, Hi Thomas, I strongly suggest for you to book a session here https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/ with me so we can really chat about the history and dynamics of your relationship so I can give you guidance and exact advice. Texas. Not clongy or being pushy. Anyway after she hearing all I can offer she decided to go back to her country to think. I believe taking your time, having open communication, and understanding why this happened from her perspective and then sharing yours is a great way to begin. I then went with it for a few days then freaked why she wasnt calling. Ive always bent over backwards. Ugh. Thanks again. All you can do keep being you and keep going. She has given the ring back and said we need to work back to this. I would suggest a coaching session so I can get more details and really help you get answers to the relationship and help you turn things around. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/. Picking up on this the following day or so I asked her if we were Ok and if she was withdrawing and she stated Yes, I am withdrawing, Ive also been busy. If coaching is a little out of your budget range, I would encourage you to check out our membership where you get 3 LIVE coaching calls a month, exclusive programs, and discounted one on one coaching as well as a private FB community where you can chat amongst your fellow members. I though it was all good i am a good guy , and dont think i am that needy as never complain she goes out friends or text her much unless texts me if she says she seeing friends saturday day i ask when she wants to see me she says saturday night or sunday i come instead .