What would you call an automatic washing machine that washes nun's clothing? We call her deodor-aunt. My brother promised he would be on top of our laundry. Required fields are marked *. For all those homebodies, here is a list of some of the best puns and jokes about houses and furniture, which one will make you laugh? I cant believe I got fired from the calendar factory. 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I told her, "Is it not ironic that these dryer sheets get stuck to the clothes?" I guess we both were maid for each other. 25. Well, to be Frank with you, Id have to change my name. In fact, its been the inspiration for many a funny meme on every social platform. It was nothing but uplifting. I told her that I've got loads of them. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" You know what they say about a clean desk: It's a sure sign of a cluttered desk drawer. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. Zombies are most afraid of the living room. 84. Why wasn't the washing machine starting? We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. one-liners as much as we did in selecting them. Ears? Not only will the. 19. Leaving excess sealer on the marble can make the stone cloudy or leave streaks. 31. My dog shed his hair all over the house, specifically on the fur-niture. 1. Why were the programmers bad at doing their laundry? I just replied with, "well, ain't that a little nutty?". 36. From one-liners to corny comedy, this hilarious selection of the best dad jokes will have kids and adults alike laughing. 52. 37. Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. It should be: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours ox except in Scrabble. David ODoherty, How come Miss Universe is only won by people from Earth? Ross Noble, I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. The cop told me, "well, they seem to have made a clean getaway. He came out spotless. Laugh more: Disney Jokes That are Truly Magical! Here are some boss jokes one liners that will make you laugh out loud! 35. Pick the right one for you and go ahead throw some jokes to your friends. Theyre on the way out! Tim Vine, I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. I went to a seafood disco last week, but ended up pulling a mussel. Try telling one of the side-splitting medical jokes and puns that are guaranteed to get some giggles. My maid is a commercial cleaner. In the spirit of commiserating over the woes of keeping house, weve swept up a collection of cleaning jokes, puns, and one-liners for your reading pleasure. Sofa-r, so good. Tooth pics! You never know what you haveuntil you clean your room. I rang up British Telecom and said: I want to report a nuisance caller. He said: Not you again. Tim Vine, Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld, I was in my car driving back from work. A police officer pulled me over and knocked on my window. I have discovered the secret to a clean house: never let your children or husband enter it. A clean house is a sign of no Internet connection. I am an introvert. I'll take it out for a spin later. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. . You are most likely to spot a house in a-dress. If you cleaned your mahogany desk, your mom wood be very happy. Your privacy is important to us. creative tips and more. Wellington boots? Billy Connolly, I went to Waterstones and asked the woman for a book about turtles. I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work. What do sailors do their laundry with? 83. My mum forced me to discard my old toys, but I was not ready to Lego of them. 91. When I am asked what my favourite genre of music is, I always say it is House. If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages? But I know a girl that would get really mad if she heard me say that." I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. 52. So I became a mom. But we decided to chair it with our neighbours. My boss gets really annoyed when I call him "Dick". As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. Radhika Mundra, Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the dishes. 75. My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. After washing all the clothes, my mom accidentally dropped all the laundry. 58. Your email address will not be published. When I told him that, he just replied, "laundry isn't my strong suit when I have to wash my bathing suit.". They can be basic one-liners that are nevertheless funny enough to make everyone chuckle. Report. I don't have washboard abs. 7. How did the accident patient get a clean bill of health? 48. It'd be called a quarter-life crisis. I washed my clothes today, and a couple of pictures of Santa washed up. 11. Sometimes they wear badges that say press, but if you press those badges they just fall over all surprised. Milton Jones, Toughest job I ever had? As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. Blue sky at night: day. Tom Parry, My great uncle Arthur died at the Battle of the Little Bighorn. Trilingual Rajnandini has also published work in a supplement for 'The Telegraph', and had her poetry shortlisted in Poems4Peace, an international project. Mr. Realtor has become a rich man by only selling refrigerators. These clever jokes will lift your spirits, brighten your mood and get you giggling in no time. He says, Uno, dos and poof! 35. That are Actually Funny. My mother's sister is quite good at cleaning smelly laundry. He'd become a wash and werewolf. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. I guess I was stoned off my ass. Its for that very same reason that cleaning jokes and puns are so popular. Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. Not only will this prevent a possible electrical surge, but it will also make it easier to see all the dirt on your screen. Do not worry about gathering massive amounts; just read these jokes and feel happy and sound. That is wrong on so many levels. She is fond of classic British literature. More giggles and laughter with this short clean jokes for adults. Why did the astronaut bring his maid to the ISS (International Space Station)? With Thai Pods. Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. Selling doors, door-to-door. Bill Bailey, My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. I dont know and I dont care. 1. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me. When I went to do my laundry today, I realized that I needed to open a new packet of detergent. They're also a great way to get a chuckle out of kids. The coach replied, "You're standing too close to the ball after you've hit it.". We're here to make an ordinary day just a little more fun for you. 3. The washing machine would engage in a viscous cycle. If you want to read more puns about clothes, be sure to check out sock puns and shoe puns. 7. 33. The screw said to the screwdriver in the toolkit "You drive me crazy!". The boss jokes don't have to be very clever. I didnt think orthopedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected. My dad thought he had won an argument with my mom about how to arrange our house furniture. 16. But when he came back from work, the tables had turned. Funny maid jokes and puns to share that will make people laugh. I was doing my laundry today, and the clothes seemed surprised. Go ahead and share these all-time funniest dad jokes on your . 80. Its impossible to put down. She hit the ceiling! 79. What kind of chocolate will you find in your pocket while doing laundry? Tide. All rights reserved. 10. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die! Bill Murray, I bought myself some glasses. The Italian man could not enter his own house. 57. 32. When the refrigerator and microwave got married, the toaster gave a brilliant speech. Victor Borge 17. I spilled the beans. Here are 175 really bad jokes, ranging from terrible puns and horrible one-liners to cringy- and groan-worthy jokes that are so bad they're good. My girlfriend got mad at me because I wanted to role play. It was an udder failure. Why did the fallen angel end up as a domestic help? 50 One-Liner Jokes That'd Leave You Rolling Last Updated on March 6, 2023 One could easily feel overwhelmed by the dynamic and technology-driven planet we find ourselves in. Mom: Honey, your house is a wreck! Being rich, one of the worst things that can happen to someone is having all of their secrets revealed. Ill take it out for a spin later. Because its door wasn't clothesed. Prepare the sealant according to the package directions and test it on a small inconspicuous area. What happened to the leopard that fell in the washing machine? Why a carrot as a logo? Seeing that, the relatives asked, "how often does she go online? That is wrong on so many different levels. Tim Vine, My New Years resolution is to get in shape. Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. My wife and I just moved into an apartment with a washer but no dryer. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I saw a sign the other day that said, Watch for children, and I thought, That sounds like a fair trade.. There are also cleaners puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Sistermatic. But you teach a man to fish saved yourself a fish havent you? Lee Mack, Crime in multi-storey car parks. I thought, thats Abba-riginal. Tim Vine, I think the worst thing about driving a time machine is your kids are always in the back moaning, Are we then yet? Paul F. Taylor, Two monkeys were getting into the bath. We had to get our vacuum cleaner exchanged. Because they love clean sheets. These better be funny! So we stopped playing chess. Matt Kirshen, Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesnt try it on. Billy Connolly, I like the Ten Commandments, but theres a problem with the ninth one. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. 54. It also includes some great house cleaning puns to make light work of those chores! Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! He disappeared without a tres. Phyllis Diller, Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture. 74. If you enjoy cracking jokes and one-liners at home, this article will not only help in fostering new ideas but will also act as a great stress buster, enjoy! Lets see some cleaning jokes by famous people. They sound super clean. It was unfamiliar territory. With a meteor shower! A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing and mean your mother. What did the detergent say to the other after an excellent game? 3. 59. Hes a small arms dealer. Which month of the year is the shortest? 49. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. To make sure they see it, Ive put it inside a birthday card. Gary Delaney, 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners26 of Stewart Lees most gloriously acerbic jokes49 of Monty Pythons funniest jokes45 of Ricky Gervais funniest jokes17 of Ken Dodds most ingeniously funny jokes27 of Sarah Millicans laugh out loud jokes50 of Jimmy Carrs funniest jokes and one-liners50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners50 of Frankie Boyles funniest (and darkest) jokes25 of Charlie Brookers most cutting jokes and insults25 of Lee Macks wittiest jokes and one-liners75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland from Scotland, 20 of the most absurdly funny quotes from Nathan Barley39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes25 of Rik Mayalls greatest quotes25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes50 of the funniest Father Ted quotesRed Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-linersDerry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes50 of the best lines from Peep Show20 of The Young Ones most gloriously silly quotes20 of Malcolm Tuckers most cutting insults25 of the greatest Absolutely Fabulous quotes, darlingThe 20 most nonsensical quotes from the W1A team50 of the funniest Friends quotes and jokes. 10. Using a microfiber cloth, wipe the sealer in even strokes to cover a small (approximately 3-by-3-foot) area. Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! 2. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. Don't you ever get tired and feel like you want to throw in the towel? ", 24. Dirty cleaning jokes that you can also share with kids. Marcelene Cox, Nothing inspires cleanliness more than an unexpected guest. Pollen is what happens when flowers cant keep it in their plants. I took the stairs instead of the elevator today. These puns and jokes can brighten up your day at home. You'll also find common jokes like 'how many nurses does it take to screw a lightbulb' and other light bulb related jokes. We now call him a Spin Doctor. 87. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals. Peter Kay, Whoever said nothing is impossible obviously hasnt tried nailing jelly to a tree. John Candy, 50 of Jimmy Carrs funniest jokes and one-liners, Shes great, my Nan. When the refrigerator and microwave got married, the toaster gave a brilliant speech. My cousin Margaret said that she once fell into a detergent vat at a factory where she worked. He was camping in a nearby field and popped over to complain about the noise. Rob Brydon, So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, I thought, Thats a turtle disaster. Peter Kay, I love Snapchat. Im going to lay down until the feeling passes. "Well, we'll just freeze-dry them", I told her. It went inside one ear and out of the other. Dont you hate it when someone answers their own questions? Connection! 48. So I bought 100 copies ofGoldfinger. Nick Hall, My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. What did one toilet say to the other? 81. The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally. Just got fired from my job as a set designer. We couldnt afford a dog. Gary Delaney, You give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. 5) "Nowadays, comedians tell the news and the media tells the jokes.". Why was Mr. Miyagi allowed to do his laundry at Cobra Kai dojo? 33. Steal these classic one-liner jokes in our collection of the best one-liner jokes from experts in funny like Milton. Outside work, her interests include music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. 75. 56. Tap To Copy. See? Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak. Here are a few examples of his wit and wisdom: Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. 3. How do network routers fix their shaking washing machine? When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. So we're hanging the clothes on a line outside. 15+ Cheeky and Corny Love Jokes you can laugh with him and her! I have been working next to the sink in the kitchen all afternoon. 227 points. It only speaks the Polish language. ' Alan Carr, The easiest time to add insult to injury is when youre signing somebodys cast. Demetri Martin, I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldnt find any. Tommy Cooper, My wife its difficult to say what she does. I was a test-tube baby. Billy Connolly, Im sure wherever my Dad is: hes looking down on us. I needed little help drying clothes after washing them. 36. My observational comedy improved. Sara Pascoe, I dont trust the press. Life is more vibrant when we are joyful, exactly like artists do. 2. We rushed them to a washpital immediately. 20. My mother came and told him to fold it as he had promised and not lie on it while he watched TV. 110 of the best clean jokes and one-liners to make the whole family laugh 'Crime in multi-storey car parks. 47. Once youve had a hearty laugh and youre ready to spruce up your space, check out our guides on cleaning a couch, washing a down comforter, washing stuffed animals, and getting crayon off the walls. I feel better already! Dave Barry, Its sad day when your child looks up at you and asks: Daddy, is this organic? Organic? All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. Dad: What do you mean? Teen: It sucks. Dad: Well, there is always Roomba improvement.. My brother was washing his suit and not doing a good job. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. I became worried that he might get caught for money laundering. Radhika Mundra, Housework cant kill you but why take a chance. I was not certain about making our furniture ourselves. This does not influence our choices. Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance training. 64. 50. 78. Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. 31. Its like a vacuum cleaner.. "Do these genes make me look fat?" 3. Some relatives came to our house while my sister was trying to make a swing on the front lawn by hanging on a wire. 47. Now my hands are tide. 15. When the couch lost 20% of its body, it said "Ouch!". ' Jerry Seinfeld, I was not a particularly small child. Our list includes a selection from the Aldi Mamia Best Dad Joke contest. When the bulb checked its weight on the weighing scale, he said to himself "Woah! We have a combination of the best laundry one-liners, puns, fashion puns, and clothes puns ready for you. 1. 61. I like jokes about stationery, but rulers are where I draw the line. 49. One said: Oo, oo, oo, aah aah aah.The other replied: Well, put some cold in it then. Harry Hill, Owls havent got necks, have they? Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." "Life's like a bird. They can sit and watch me for hours. Everyone in Britain prefers brooms over vacuum cleaners when it comes to tidying the floors. 55. 90. If your homing pigeon doesnt come back, then what youve lost is a pigeon. Sara Pascoe, It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it youre adding raisins and marshmallows its a rocky road. Olaf Falafel, Somebody just gave me a shower radio. 27. My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. Why'd the warden give a laundry soap to the departing prisoners? The Maids Blog, 56 Best Clean(ing) Jokes ideas | humor, funny, bones funny, 160 Cleaning Humor ideas | humor, bones funny, funny quotes, Cleaning Puns Gifts & Merchandise Redbubble, 101 Good, Clean Jokes That'll Make You Laugh Your Pants Off, Clean Jokes You Can Share With Your Family, Here are the cleaning related music puns you didn't Gigwise, Cleaner Jokes: Croker, Chester Amazon.com, Stupell Industries Laundry Wisdom Sign Daily Life Cleaning , big list of clean silly jokes Ducksters, 145 Best Dad Jokes That Will Have the Whole Family Laughing, 16 Posts About Spring Cleaning Thatll Make You Laugh , https://www.scarymommy.com/cleaning-jokes-puns, https://jokesquotesfactory.com/cleaning-jokes-puns/, https://www.maids.com/blog/cleaning-jokes-that-are-actually-funny/, /search?num=20&sxsrf=ALiCzsajhPbLDdlUS-Dhu7-Qaw0MtmIq-w:1656822537832&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=cleaning+puns&fir=zc3wkYSIyiNy9M%252CzVPXqABvzlTVwM%252C_%253BMtL6mbGE_tCGHM%252CwxToNjU-v9agyM%252C_%253BoLV4l7t3dMAWlM%252CsNqaczlTr129pM%252C_%253BpmDYoJjf59UAyM%252CvBY4LYeifYZ_HM%252C_%253BG_sIzYeu5-ByeM%252COldtQREQHpZZkM%252C_%253BKUlCuKamINPshM%252C9mfUybilygRRDM%252C_%253B1Svkj68AnHMD1M%252CwIeiXdKWfLDN_M%252C_%253BCAKxT2ZiqYt3pM%252CBU7WUvLIUURxkM%252C_%253BsODtZTjJDANoTM%252CzVPXqABvzlTVwM%252C_%253BELl3LtqZdwHLDM%252Cxd1ddiU6uegFeM%252C_&usg=AI4_-kRqYjEQ26RTa2z4_O1jRIn16UlC5A&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjMvsn28Nv4AhXgrJUCHcQoDzQQjJkEegQIJRAC, https://www.pinterest.com/ocedarclean/cleaning-jokes/, https://www.pinterest.com/themaids/cleaning-humor/, https://www.redbubble.com/shop/cleaning+puns, https://dollychar.com/2020/04/cleaning-jokes/, https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/ayj0gb/i_need_cleaning_puns/, https://parade.com/1041830/marynliles/clean-jokes/, https://www.readersdigest.ca/culture/clean-jokes/, https://www.gigwise.com/news/107576/make-music-cleaner-trending-on-twitter-best-music-puns, https://www.amazon.com/Cleaner-Jokes-Chester-Croker/dp/1796218987, https://www.amazon.com/Stupell-Industries-Cleaning-Stephanie-Off-White/dp/B08VCVBGCP, https://www.ducksters.com/jokes/silly.php, https://www.countryliving.com/life/a27452412/best-dad-jokes/, https://www.buzzfeed.com/delaneystrunk/jokes-about-spring-cleaning-twitter-tumblr. I needed some fresh clothes for a change. It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. 2. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. He never reads any of mine. Spike Milligan, The anti-ageing advert that I would like to see is a baby covered in cream saying, Aah, Ive used too much! Andrew Bird, I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Nick Helm, A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. I put my grandma on speed dial the other day. A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, Is this stool taken?.